Week 4- Personal Reflections
Excavating Self
As we close out week 4, here are my personal reflections from a week dedicated to excavating the self.
The excavation of self is, in essence, an archaeological dig into your own being. With every deliberate scoop of the shovel, you sift through the rich layers of your experiences, beliefs, and emotions, uncovering more about the remarkable person you are and the magnificent individual you are becoming. This isn't a fleeting endeavor; it's a lifelong journey of discovery, and with each deeper excavation, you reveal more of your authentic self. As I continue to dig, I consistently unearth profound truths that, while sometimes challenging to face, are ultimately incredibly liberating to embrace. And through this ongoing journey, I've come to understand a powerful truth: not every day has to be a "good" day, and that's perfectly okay. This realization itself is a profound liberation, freeing you to embrace the full spectrum of your human experience.
Reclaiming My Inner World
Growing up, privacy was a luxury I rarely experienced, but unearthing that truth has truly empowered me to reclaim my inner world. My feelings and thoughts are now a sacred sanctuary I hold within, sharing them intimately with myself. I've learned to appreciate the silence, and in that quiet space, to cherish the feelings that matter most. While there are still things I long to say and words I yearn to write, I trust that when the time is right, they will surface. For now, it's more about embracing the power of the unspoken and the profound realization that I possess the choice of who, and when, I share my deepest self with.
This understanding marked a pivotal shift for me. I'm learning to heal and move forward not by forcing words and feelings out into the world, but by trusting that the essence of what needs to be conveyed already resides within me. These unarticulated truths now guide my actions and intentions. Sometimes, the most powerful healing isn't about speaking aloud, but about allowing these deep, inner truths to shape my journey, empowering me to act from a place of authenticity rather than obligation.
Cultivating Authentic Connections
I’ve also embraced the intricate tapestry of relationships in my life. This excavation has been about discerning between the people who are genuinely present and invested in my life—who show up consistently and authentically—and those who merely express a desire to be there, perhaps for fleeting moments or for reasons that don't truly align. This process has taught me the invaluable lesson of not forcing relationships, even when every fiber of my being aches to cling to a connection that feels like it could be something special. The fear of losing someone, of watching a bond fray, can be incredibly heavy. Yet, true connection thrives on mutual respect, genuine interest, and unforced presence. Releasing the need to control or manipulate a relationship, even when it feels terrifying, creates space for healthier, more authentic bonds to organically deepen. This isn't about apathy; it's about empowerment, choosing to invest energy where it's reciprocated and allowing genuine connections to flourish naturally.
Embracing Dual Perspective
For sometime now, I’ve also found myself embracing a dual perspective, viewing life not just as a participant, but also as a conscious observer. It’s like having a unique set of lenses: one that is fully immersed in the experience, feeling every emotion and navigating every challenge, and another that steps back, taking in the broader picture, noticing subtle patterns, and understanding the elegant ebb and flow of existence. This isn't about detachment; it's about gaining a richer, more nuanced understanding of the grand tapestry of life. Being both an observer and a participant allows for greater wisdom, more thoughtful responses, and a deeper, more profound appreciation for the journey itself. This dual perspective is empowering, providing clarity and a sense of calm amidst life's complexities.
The Unshakeable Bedrock of Faith
Perhaps the most anchoring and empowering discovery for me, in this ongoing excavation, has been the profound depth of my faith. I knew it was always there. In fact, as I look back on my life, I can't remember a time when I didn’t believe. Time and time again, when I've felt utterly lost, overwhelmed, or completely alone, Jesus has shown up. Not always in a dramatic, thunderous display, but in quiet reassurances, unexpected blessings, and an unwavering presence that has never let me down. He has consistently provided comfort, guidance, and a steadfast strength that grounds me. This understanding, this deep-seated belief in a love that never fails, has become the unshakeable bedrock of my being and the wellspring of peace within me.
With that understanding, moving forward in life takes on an entirely new dimension. There’s a deep sense of peace that settles in, a quiet confidence that transcends circumstance. Life becomes more present, less about anxious striving and more about simply being. The weight of past regrets and the anxieties of future uncertainties fade into the background, replaced by a grounded, empowering appreciation for each moment. This self-excavation isn't just about discovery; it's about realizing the incredible strength and serenity that lies within, waiting to be unearthed.
